J and C Day

I answered my phone somewhere in the middle of Arizona. I was on my second day of my drive from Northern California to Texas. I was driving my then fiance's truck to his current duty station. His voice was a pleasant break to the monotony of the humdrum desert surroundings. He had proposed less than a month earlier, surprising me in California. We of course had been discussing wedding plans and trying to figure out a date that would coordinate with his hectic Army life. He didn't have official orders yet, but there was talk of a deployment in July, just 5 months away. We knew we wanted to get married soon enough that we'd have time to establish roles as husband and wife before he left. We also really wanted to have a wedding ceremony, which takes time and money to plan, so we decided to shoot for April.

His tone was business-like and direct. Coming from my easy-going guy, I knew something was up. His superiors weren't exactly being cooperative about securing his leave for April. "So I called your dad," he continued, "and he's mailed me your birth certificate and social security card so we have all the documents my sergeant said we may need." "Um... ok... did I have a say in this?" I chuckled to myself. I had never seen him like this. I'm usually the one researching, planning, and assertively making things happen. He honestly caught me off guard. It was suggested to him that we get married in a courthouse first because the Army would be more likely to grant leave for him to move his family to his new duty station than to have a wedding. However, we'd have to be legally married for them to honor me as his family. He also wanted to move out of the barracks and secure a home for us before the wedding so that we wouldn't have to stay in a hotel or temporary housing while all the paperwork was being filed. If we got legally married ahead of time, we could file the needed paperwork and he could clear the barracks and start receiving the housing allowance needed to pay our rent. Logically, it made sense and he knew it's what we needed to do. Trusting his judgement and agreeing with his assessment, I said, "Ok, I guess we're getting married this weekend!"

It was a crazy whirlwind because I was only in town for four and a half days. It was also a holiday weekend and I was scheduled to take an exam for the college nearby. I arrived late Thursday afternoon and the courthouse would be closed Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. That left only left Friday. We frantically awaited the arrival of my paperwork (which we ended up not needing). Once we got the paperwork on Friday afternoon, we headed to the courthouse. We both had brought nice clothes to change into, but figured we would get the license and then have a long wait for the judge and could change then. After we got the license, John went to the restroom and then came back to the waiting room to get the keys to get our clothes from the truck. Right as he grabbed the keys from my purse, the judge called us in. On one of the most important days of our life that would legally bind us as husband and wife, we were wearing jeans and t-shirts.

However, it didn't matter what we were wearing. It didn't matter that this is not at all what we had planned or imagined. It was a special, romantic, and emotional day. It was so intimate, literally just the two of us and a judge. I cried as I repeated those vows and John was teary-eyed, though I doubt that he'd admit it. We didn't have rings to exchange and we forgot to call our parents to put them on speaker phone. It all happened so fast, yet it was very real to us. We both respect marriage and hold it so highly We did not take the situation lightly and the fact that, in the eyes of the state of Texas, we were now one was incredibly special to us. Wedding or not, we were man and wife.

We made the decision to keep our courthouse marriage to ourselves until after the wedding. Our parents and the pastor that was officiating our ceremony knew and we wanted to keep it just between those select few. We didn't want to take away from our wedding day or face all the nay-sayers who'd certainly like to comment on our "rash" decision. It was something we knew we had to do for ourselves and we had the blessing and support of our parents; that was enough for us. However, it was incredibly difficult to keep such a big secret. I had already changed my name by the time of the wedding and was having trouble keeping track of which name to use in what situation. Even though I had left Texas shortly after we got married, there was still something very official about getting married, even if it didn't feel real yet. It caused some stress and growing pains that we weren't able to communicate with friends. It was one of the trade-offs of keeping it a secret. However, we conquered the conflicts and John was able to come home for a beautiful wedding celebration with our family and friends. With no time for a honeymoon, we headed to our new home in Texas shortly after the wedding.

As we've begun to let people know about getting married before our wedding, people have asked what date we will celebrate as our anniversary. Since April was the day when we publicly celebrated our marriage, we have decided that is when will we honor our anniversary. However, the "courthouse day" was important and special, so we're going to recognize that as well. Since Valentine's Day and the day we got married are so close together, I figured I'd let my husband off the hook and we'd combine the two into one magical, mushy holiday: J and C Day. As J and C Day approaches, I can't believe it's been almost one year since I signed my name on that court document and held my love's hands as I promised him my life. I can't wait until he's home so we can start celebrating. Here's to the upcoming J and C day! We don't expect you to celebrate with us, but if you need a reason to party, by all means, go ahead!