mini-moon

Because of the nature of the Army, we didn't know if my groom would be present for the wedding until exactly one week before the nuptials were planned. (The particulars of all that is another post entirely.) This meant that because we didn't know how long he would have off of work (or if he was coming at all), we didn't plan any sort of honeymoon. Once we found out he did get a week off and factored in driving to Texas and saying goodbye to our friends and family, we were left with the night of the wedding (staying in town) and the next night.

His parents booked us a lovely hotel in town for the night of our wedding, complete with a jacuzzi tub, rose petals on the bed, and chocolate covered strawberries. It was fantastic. The next morning we drug ourselves out of bed and met about 30 of our friends and family for breakfast. (Which we would have never done if we hadn't been moving across the country the next day.) I then turned all sorts of grumpy because we had to go back to both of our parents houses to finish packing. We went to my parents house first which is in town and where the moving company was coming to load up all our stuff. I packed as fast as I could and then realized it was time to say goodbye. It was such a strange feeling wanting so desperately to get out of there and spend time with my new husband and yet bawling my eyes out because I knew I was leaving my family. After a tearful "see ya later," we drove 30 minutes outside of town to John's parents house to get some things he needed. My mother-in-law and I talked business while John packed. Finally, it was time to decide what to do for our one night "mini-moon". My mom found an amazing deal on an unpublished hotel in San Francisco. All we knew was the rating (5 star) and the price of the room. We decided to go for it. After we booked the room we found out it was the stunning Joie de Vivre hotel right off the Embarcadero. I was so excited! It was early in the evening and we had enough time to have dinner and spend time in the city before we headed to our room for some quality time.

My husband packed up my little Toyota and I got in the drivers seat to head out. I asked him for the keys as he got into the car. It took all of ten seconds for me to realize the keys got locked in the trunk. Since my car has no trunk release and all the spares were on one ring, the one in the trunk, we called a locksmith. They'd be there within the hour. So here we are, married less than 24 hours, unable to go anywhere, and stuck at our parents house. Awesome. (Yes, you can laugh. I did.) We went inside and watched a musical and had pizza for dinner. Finally the locksmith arrived and with some effort, opened the trunk, and made this bride very happy.

My spirits were unshaken and I sped to the city. (John was still kicking himself at this point). An hour or so later, we arrived at our destination. We could not find the hotel's parking lot, so we pulled into a little driveway. A valet attendant told us that parking was valet only or we could find something on the street. We paid the $50 and gave the guy my Toyota key (that stuck out like a sore thumb with the Lexus and Mercedes and Porsche keys almost as badly as my actual car did.) There was a group of people dressed in Italian suits and Manolo Blahnik heels (not together, even if it is SF) waiting outside for their car. I was in a sweatshirt and Chucks and my counterpart was wearing jeans and a t-shirt as we made our way to the front desk.

At 9 pm (and already feeling out of place), we were told that they did not have our reservation. The website we had booked through had not faxed the hotel our information yet. The man at the front desk was apologetic, incredibly welcoming, and upgraded us to a top floor room with a view. I have no idea how much the room cost, but the run-of-the-mill room we booked started out at $212 a night (we paid $100 for it.) Never have you seen such giddy mini-mooners. Long story short (or is it too late for that?), we dressed ourselves up, went to the restaurant attached to the hotel, sat at the bar, made great conversation with two gay guys from Canada, explored the roof top terrace, and made sweet sweet love. :)






Our view

Deployment

My husband has received orders for deployment, leaving mid-late July. I've been an Army-wife for 5 minutes (ok, 3.5 weeks) and the reality of my love leaving has come crashing down. Nothing is certain in the Army, even when they say it is, but they are definitely gearing up to leave. Not only are we learning to be husband and wife, but we are learning to be soldier and the "home front."

My hard-working husband took a nap this weekend and I ended up in tears. All I could think about was that this may be our first and last months married to each other and I couldn't stand not spending time with him. It took me almost an hour to explain this to my confused husband who woke up to me "pissed" (this is often how I come across when truthfully I'm hurt, scared, anxious, etc). I was finally able to articulate my feelings and have a "big person" conversation with him. (Marriage is like a giant mirror; one that has made me realize I'm very much still a child.) Now more than ever I realize what a gift he is and how precious our time is before he goes. It's not healthy to dwell on the negative, but for my personal well-being, I have to think of the worst and then learn to cope with the possibility. I'm slow to process emotions and therefore a bit of dwelling is required. "People want my husband dead" is a large pill to swallow, yet some how facing the possibility of that helps me to look it square in the face and say "I ain't scared." (Well, that's a lie, but I can still say it.) Turning on the lights and actually looking at the monster under the bed makes it much less scary than when you're hiding under the covers in the dark.

Maybe one day, with a ton of Grace, I might be able to say that truthfully. My soldier's name means "God is Gracious" and "God rescues." I'm praying for those to not just be name meanings, but a prophesy over his life, a banner he can wave before the enemy, both of this world and not. While this process is sometimes uncomfortable and full of growing pains, I rest in the truths that Our God IS gracious and that He does rescue us. I think there is something carnal about declaring those truths (especially when you're scared), like ripping out the roots of weeds that are suffocating a seedling, hands dirty and making way for fresh growth. And so even if I have to say them half believing, half scared out of my mind, I will... because slowly my faith rises.

Keep Writing

This is my third attempt at a blog. For whatever reason, I can't seem to be consistent with my writing. But a friend told me to "keep writing" and I think I'll take his advice. So here I am, California girl in a Texas world, writing as I learn about love, life, and faith.