My Deployment Theory

Many of my readers are not affiliated with the military and have remarked what an insight my blog is into the life of a military wife. Well, I have a theory. Ya'll ready for this? Nah nah nah nah nah. WAY-OH! (Excuse me, the 90's just sucked me in. Oh Jock Jams.)

Deployment is like pregnancy. You have weird food cravings. You wonder, "Would tequila and ice cream go well together?" Of course you don't actually eat that because that's just wrong because you're pregnant. No, not really, just HID (Husband Is Deployed). But no sane person eats ice cream with tequila, it just, you know, crossed your mind. (That's my story and I'm sticking to it!!!)

You have strange outbursts of emotion. You cry in the middle of the grocery store because you realize you forgot to put your wedding ring back on after exercising. You scream, "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!!" to the fly that keeps following you around the house. You flip out on your husband because he decided to start shaving his chest hair and you exclaim, "Everything is going to be different! I won't even know you!" Because chest hair totally defines a person.

You anticipate the arrival of your loved one with nesting, making improvements around the house. The day in which he arrives seems so far away and toward the end you think it's never going to happen. You are convinced he's never coming home. There is excitement, yet anxiety about that day. You can't wait for it, yet what if doesn't live up to your high expectations?

You face weight changes, hormone fluxes, anxiety and anticipation for the future, strange dreams, conflicting feelings about the changes happening, and a longing to be with the one you love. Deployment is like pregnancy; am I right, ladies, or am I right?


(To those of you who have endured pregnancy and deployment at the same time, I applaud you. This. is. nuts.)