Shane

It was exactly two months before my sixth birthday. I was taking a morning shower with my mom when she said, "Go get Dad!" I didn't stop to dry myself off and ran naked out of the bathroom. I vividly remember starting to slip on the tile floor, but catching myself with the door frame. The details of that day are pretty sparse in my mind. I didn't know it then, but my mother's water broke in the shower. I remember my Nana coming over and all of us getting in the car to go to the hospital. We hadn't eaten yet so we stopped at Jack in the Box on the way. The smell of the food made my mom sick and she started yelling at us to throw it out. I remember my Nana shoving a hamburger in my mouth and then tossing the rest out of the window.

I remember sitting on my Nana's lap in the back of the room when my mom was getting ready to push. Someone asked my mom if she wanted me to leave. She said I could stay. I became more and more curious and I think the doctor felt me inching closer because he asked if I wanted to help. He put my hands right up in the action, with his hands surrounding mine. My little brother, Shane, came out very blue and with a dislocated shoulder. The doctor asked if I wanted to cut the cord, but told me that I had to do it very quickly. I said no and I walked away as my dad cut the umbilical cord. Shane was not breathing on his own and the doctors and nurses began to resuscitate him. I did not feel frightened, mostly because I didn't understand what was going on, but also because I didn't sense panic. I got angry that the doctors were handling my brother so roughly and said, "He's not gonna like that!" When he began to cry everyone was happy but me. I don't remember this, but I was told that I kicked the doctor because he made my brother cry and said, "Told ya so!" (That doctor has since forgiven me and was my lifelong pediatrician. He even helped me when I began to explore a career in nursing.) 

Today that same blue baby turns 18 years old. Not many people remember their siblings coming into the world or had such a active role in their birth. I think this is part of the reason we have such a close bond. I learned to change his diaper and when he stopped breastfeeding, I helped feed him. When he got a little older I dressed him up and cast him in all my plays. In elementary school I wrote a song about him: "Shane the pain, he drives me insane..." Despite the typical sibling quarrels, I've been very protective of him from day one and took my role as the older sibling very seriously. When he began to get bigger than I, I had to come to terms with the fact that I was no longer stronger than he. He remembers the triumphant day when he finally beat me at wrestling on my 18th birthday. It has been a pleasure watching him grow into a compassionate,  protective, intelligent, athletic, loving young man, and to be his close friend along the way.

I love that he's friends with my husband and it meant so much to me that John asked him to be a groomsmen in our wedding. As we've grown older our relationship has changed from me leading him to a more equal friendship. When I was a teenager, I would make him do a "smell check" for me. I didn't want to wear too much perfume, but I still wanted people to be able to smell it. I would walk by him and say, "Smell check!" He'd let me know if I had the right amount of perfume on. We talk about things that most brothers and sisters would never feel comfortable talking about. We've talked about drinking and sex and God. He told me that he could tell John made me happy. We've supported each other when times were tough. When we are together there is something about 9 pm that just makes us so silly and slap happy. Even though we are older now, we still act like goofy 12 and 6 year olds. And yes, even though he's an accomplished lineman and twice my size, I still try to wrestle with him.

Shane, I love being your older sister and friend. It's hard to believe that you are an adult now! It makes me feel a bit old remembering the day you were born and now you're old enough to get a credit card (which I don't recommend). I'm thankful we've remained close even though we're far apart in age and distance. You make me so proud! Happy birthday! P.S. Baby alien voice