last minute

It's 8:40 pm and my phone rings. It's my husband. I haven't seen him in six days. I'm laying on the couch in my pajamas, hair up in a messy bun, with the day's make up smeared under my eyes. He says he's on his way home. They released him last minute. "Yay! So you have tomorrow off?" "No, I have to be back at 0800." Awesome. Less than 12 hours off after working six days straight. Sigh. I'm thankful that he's on his way home and decide to make a night of it. I quickly brush my hair and change my clothes. I'm sitting on the edge of the tub, one hand shaving a leg, the other brushing my teeth.

We have this routine down to a science. I tell him I don't care that he hasn't showered in six days, I still want a hug and a kiss. He empties his ruck and I get laundry going while he showers. I ask him from the shower if he wants a beer or a margarita. Margaritas it is and the blender is going by the time he's out of the shower. I ask him if he wants to stay in, get take out, or go somewhere to eat. It's already past 9 pm, but we have to make the best of the time we have. He packs up his ruck with new socks, boxers, and undershirts and moves his uniforms to the dryer while I finish getting ready. It is boring day to day stuff but we are a team and know how to run the system efficiently. It's morning and he's gone again before I know it.

Everything is last minute with the military. There is no planning ahead.

 "Will you be able to visit for Christmas?" "I don't know." "When will you know?" "Probably not until November or December."

"Can we let you know the day of if we are coming or not?" "Can you let us know by Friday? Having a baby makes it hard to plan last minute." "I understand. I will let you know as soon as possible."

"Let's go on a double date!" "Well, I can come, but I don't know if John will be home or not."

"Hey! It's good to see you! Where's your husband?" "He's in the field."

This is the military life. I often go to functions solo. My answer often is that I for sure will be there and maybe John will. John tells me to plan on going to things despite his schedule because he doesn't want me to miss out on things. Most of the time I do. However, sometimes I'm also the girl who stays home at the off chance that he'll come home because I don't want to miss the few precious hours he will get.

Thankfully, it's not like this all the time. Gunnery, a big training exercise, is going on all month so it's more crazy right now than it usually is. However, the military offers a lot of opportunities for spouses to be very independent. It often means not seeing your spouse for days, weeks, months, or even more than a year at a time. It means packing up the entire house alone and living apart for awhile. It sometimes means having a baby without the father present. When John got back from deployment, someone at church asked if he was my boyfriend. Being a military spouse sometimes means that people think you're single.

It also means that sometimes you look like an unreliable flake because you can't commit to plans. Naturally, I'm a planner. I plan dinners for the week and have things on the calendar months in advance. I like details and don't appreciate big surprises. I want to be prepared. I've had to learn to be more flexible. I've had to learn that I can't just freak out and say, "but I'm not ready!" Now I just say that I'm happy and run frantically to the bathroom to shave my legs and brush my teeth at the same time like a champ.