"Babe, if you're not good at something the first time you try it, you have to practice."
I gave John "the look." Silly man, when will he learn. We were about to go ice skating together on a quaint outdoor rink in Walnut Creek. It was no Central Park, but I've always wanted to go ice skating outside with my beau. John played ice hockey for many years, but this was my first time to try out the sport. Knowing that I'm competitive and am sorely grumpy if I suck at something, John was trying to give me a pep talk as we laced up our skates. "You can't be good at everything the first time you try it," he continued. "Is that a challenge?" I asked. (When you're competitive, everything is a challenge.) "No, I just don't want a grumpy girlfriend if you're not good at this." I grinned because it feels good to be known. I grinned because he was worried I'd fall on my butt. I grinned because that sounded an awful lot like a challenge.

There are a lot of things I am not good at. I've never been exceptionally good at sports, yet held my own because I am insanely tough, determined, and mostly stubborn. So while I can count on both hands how many points I scored my two years playing basketball, I was always the fastest down the court and if we were running man-on-man or a half court press, I couldn't be stopped. Just don't give me the ball. My coach actually told me if I ever had the ball, just pass it to a "big ugly." I guess that's what she called the players who could actually do something productive with the ball. Being five feet tall doesn't help my case either. I'm really not good at video games. As soon as I get a controller into my hand, the tongue comes out and before long I'm hurling insults at inanimate objects. It isn't pretty. And don't even get me started on my math skills. But the things that I am good at, I was good the first time I tried it.

I learned how to swim when I was 2 years old. It just sort of happened. My mom decided it was a good idea to enroll me into swimming lessons to hone the skill. In one summer, I passed all the levels that the swimming school offered. The instructor told my mom, "you need to get that girl on a team." And so she did. I certainly got better with practice, and I was never some Olympic star, but I was a "lean, mean, swimming machine" as my dad called me.

I felt awkward in those heavy skates. "It's just like roller blading," I tell myself, a hobby I enjoyed many years ago. The rink is smaller than I expected and there are so many children to dodge. We start out along the wall as John gives me a few pointers. I'm bored already. "Can we go faster?" He smiles that smile that sucked me in so long ago, one corner turned down, the other up, with his eye brows mimicking the same little boy cock-eyedness."I don't know, can you?" he smirks. I'm feeling a bit uneasy on the ice, but that doesn't stop my need for speed. I push off from the wall and start taking baby steps unassisted. With one fearless push of my feet, I'm gliding like an ice princess. He's ahead of me now, showing off his skills. Not to leave me behind, he turns around and waits for me. He sees that I'm doing pretty well for my first time around and shakes his head. I can't help but laugh. I love watching him skate, like he's in his element. He stops and carves into the ice gracefully, he shows me some tricks, with some prodding from me. My cheeks are flushed and ears sting from the cold air, but a smile is plastered on my face. He says "Babe, you get faster and faster with every lap." He knows how to make me smile. "Want to try backwards?" "Don't push it, buddy."

We're married now and I got the same lecture as I was tying up my tennis shoe laces, off to my first Zumba class. "Even if you aren't good, just have fun, ok?" His little pep talks always feel like a challenge to me; maybe that's why I love him so much. I think about this little conversation as I walk in through our front door. "Well how was it? Did you have fun?" he asks as I kick off my shoes. "Yes, love," I say as I bend down to kiss him. "And guess what? I was pretty good too."