What's so great about chocolate cake?

There are a lot of things in life that I don't understand that everyone else seems to just get ahold of. I've decided to compile a list of those things. Perhaps you can fill me in.

1. Is the toilet seat really that important? This seems to be an important issue in marriage: whether the seat is up or down. Ladies, is it that hard to put the seat down? Do you then leave it up for your husband? Is the toilet seat really worth nagging about?

2. What's so scary about turning 30 (or 40 or 50)? Is it a big secret that something awful happens when you hit these milestones? Does a creepy, ax-murdering clown awake you at midnight? Personally, I am looking forward to 30, but maybe that's because I don't know the big, terrible, awful thing that will happen at the stroke of midnight on my thirtieth birthday.

3. What's so great about chocolate cake? Or chocolate in general for that matter. Or cake in general. Do people really have orgasmic reactions when they indulge in the worlds most beloved substance, as the commercials would lead me to believe? This is serious guys, am I missing out on easy orgasms? The way women get so tickled over chocolate, I'd have to guess so.

Is there anyone out there that doesn't give a damn about the toilet seat, doesn't find aging daunting, and doesn't like chocolate? I'd like to know because I feel all alone out here.